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Let's say you make your point clearly, carefully, and politely. But rather than address your argument, the other person says, 'You would think that because you are a man.' Or they say something like, 'Well, you would say that because you are young, or you are a teacher, or you are a mother.’ Or whatever. In 1941, C.S. Lewis gave a name for this trick, and he called it a Bulverism. And it starts with a story: Imagine a young boy called Ezekiel Bulver watching his parents debate some geometry. His
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It can feel daunting to share your feelings when you worry it will turn into an argument. The way you communicate matters. Start by being clear about what you want to say and why. Pick a moment when both of you are calm and focused. Use “I” statements to talk about your feelings and describe your own experience, rather than blaming the other person. This helps reduce defensiveness and keeps the conversation from turning into an argument. If things start to escalate, it is okay to pause and step
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Most people are arguing details right now. What’s true. What’s exaggerated. What’s fake. But that’s not the real danger. The real danger is what happens after trust collapses everywhere. When people stop believing institutions. Stop believing leaders. Stop believing anyone is telling the truth. Because when trust disappears, people don’t ask for truth first. They ask for relief. History shows this pattern clearly. Exposure leads to outrage. Outrage leads to exhaustion. Exhaustion clears the path
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